just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
