Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
