My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
