I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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