my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
this will be a night to untag.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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