Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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