I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
