You just made me feel so damn special
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
