Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
