More tranny stories later!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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