Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
