he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
