Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
