No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
