Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
