"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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