I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
