I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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