his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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