Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
