Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
