It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
