Need sex. Gaining weight.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize