I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
