I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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