First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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