Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
