Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
