i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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