suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
