He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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