mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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