he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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