Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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