So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize