I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
