but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
