I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
