kristin has been a bad kristin
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize