Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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