If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
