I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
