Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
