Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
