He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
