her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
