evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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