when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
