my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
