he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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