After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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