now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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