Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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