I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They took my balls.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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