Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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