Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
