For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
