she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
