Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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