I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
