I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
