marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
