I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
