since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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